The snuffed flame
End the momentum of a quarrel before it grows into something larger.
What you’ll need
- A small candle
- A stable fireproof holder
- A candle snuffer
- Paper and pencil
The ritual
- Set the candle safely away from drafts and write the quarrel in one sentence.
- Light the candle and read the sentence once without adding to it.
- Say, “No more fuel,” and extinguish the flame with the snuffer.
- Cross out the sentence, write the boundary that replaces it, and remove the cold candle from the room.